Toe-Stubbing Maniac

Hello blog friends, 

This is one of my feet:

It looks harmless, though somewhat ugly (no pedicure, no nail polish, no nonsense [read: no effort]).  In fact, this foot and its semi-twin are harmless--to you.  Unfortunately, my feet cause me no end of trouble, though I suppose in all fairness it isn't their fault.  You see, along with a desire to control the world and an all-consuming silliness after 11:00 pm, one of my faults is an irrational need to move way too fast.  This flaw leads to a supreme clumsiness that in turn leads to a never-ending series of stubbed toes.  I can stub my toe on just about anything--the usual things like stairs and table legs and then some less usual things like the side of the couch (I guess I lifted my foot too high?) and the bare floor.  At the point, my toes are pretty much made of lead.  However, a few days ago I had a toe-stubbing experience that was unusual and actually hurt: I stubbed the toe of one foot on the bottom of the other foot.  Here is a reenactment:

It was quite painful, but after the initial yelp I couldn't help but laugh.  So ridiculous.  What my toe-stubbing propensity means for you, the invisible reader, I'm not sure.  Perhaps if you need someone to carry your wedding china you should ask me only as a last resort.